tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4539743274610335615.post5346473008308050804..comments2014-02-24T21:17:30.951-06:00Comments on Zab's Marathon Blog: Did I Catch a Niner in There?screaminzabhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08519702001471982826noreply@blogger.comBlogger1125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4539743274610335615.post-34926711011268974402008-08-15T14:01:00.000-05:002008-08-15T14:01:00.000-05:00Yasso makes his return today not only in the marat...Yasso makes his return today not only in the marathon training, but also on the blog. It has been too long.<BR/>And oh, what I've missed! A post with more numbers than a week's worth of Lotto drawings; some jackass talking about running from the police while drunk; footage of Tony LaRussa jumbling up his ABCs; a Buster Poindexter sighting; and complaints about the heat (In the summer? In Chicago? Really? At least it's not 1996.) <BR/>Yasso's favorite things to read, however, are these trite old saws about the goals you should have when running a marathon: <BR/>1. Finish. <BR/>2. Set a reachable goal if you feel decent. <BR/>3. Set a goal to reach if you feel great.<BR/>Let's pause for a second before we analyze these goals.<BR/>If you didn't know it, in addition to creating complicated running formulas to confuse runners and readers alike, Yasso is a huge baseball fan. One of his own favorite sayings draws an analogy between marathon running and the national pasttime: "A marathon, like a baseball season, is not a sprint. It is a marathon. That is why they call it a marathon."<BR/>This is not only extremely insightful, but it also offers an opportunity for Yasso to explain the rules he believes a runner should follow when running a marathon. Please notice that these are rules and not goals. If you set goals for when you feel great or when you feel decent, you will always allow yourself the option of feeling decent. This is not 1984. We don't want to feel "decent" (or "rad" or "gnarly" for that matter). <BR/>We will feel great on race day whether we like it or not.<BR/><BR/>Goal 1: Finish (duh).<BR/>Goal 2: Do not crap one's pants in the pursuit of finishing.<BR/>Goal 3: If you must crap in the pursuit of finishing, crap someone else's pants.<BR/><BR/>These rules are straightforward and mustn't be broken, no matter the temperature, the injury or whether one comes down with "runner's diarrhea."<BR/>Yes, if you were looking for one more reason to not run marathons, I provide it here, the existence of a thing called "runner's diarrhea," which occurs in 19 to 26% of marathon runners, and in 100% of women named Uta Pippig and Grete Waitz.<BR/>Yecch.yasso800https://www.blogger.com/profile/02033145960783818008noreply@blogger.com